It’s okay to be scared.

“It’s okay to be scared, it’s not okay to stay scared.”

If you read my last post, you know that I just had a kick ass weekend performing in a Dancing With the Stars fundraiser on Friday and Saturday night! The entire weekend was incredible, except for one part…..

On Friday morning, I woke up and went about my normal business. I packed lunch for both kids, got them dressed, brushed my hair (and teeth of course) and headed out the door. I dropped them at school/childcare and went to my fitness studio. I had a CRAZY day ahead of me! I taught my Barre class…if you’ve never tried it, you definitely should, but that’s a whole other post. After Barre, I chatted with my friend Nikki for a minute, then rushed home because I was meeting my son and his school at the mountain to go skiing for Winter Activities.

When I got home, I walked into the bathroom to brush my sweaty hair and noticed a large, completely bald spot on the top of my head. I immediately FREAKED out! What the hell!?????? I had brushed my hair three hours prior and all of my hair was there.

I am a Leo. A lion. I LOVE my mane. Like, I really LOVE it.

Anyway, I completely freaked out and immediately called the doctor to make an appointment. Now mind you, this was literally one of the busiest days of my life. Kids to school, Barre class, skiing, hair appointment for the event and the show was at 7pm. Luckily, my doctor could see me at 2:45, which totally screwed up my day, but I was going to make it work no matter what.

I was scared shitless. I didn’t even want to turn my head, let alone brush my hair or wash it. I was so afraid that it was going to start falling out in huge chunks.

I had and still have a bright white fluorescent bald spot on top of my head. Luckily, I can wear my hair so that the spot is covered, but still, what the heck!??????????😢

My doctor ordered blood work. She’s testing my thyroid, etc. and told me to make an appointment with the Dermatologist, which I made for first thing Monday morning.

I got to the Dermatologist Monday morning and basically all they could tell me is that the only thing they know is that they don’t know enough about this. It’s called Alopecia Areata. It is an autoimmune disorder where your body incorrectly attacks the hair follicles. They are unaware of the causes and have no methods of prevention. The only thing they can do is inject a steroid into the spot on the scalp to help the hair grow back faster.

The Dermatologist said that I will most likely continue to loose patches of hair and the only thing I can do is go back and have them stick a needle in my scalp.

I left their office completely devastated and scared shitless. This is my hair we are talking about! Why on earth can’t it be falling off of my legs, arm pits or bikini line!!!!!???? That really wouldn’t be so bad, but from my head!? 😢😢😢😢😢

I got home and completely bawled my eyes out. I just got my lash extensions filled for the show, so went a few bucks floating down the rivers that streamed down my face. Of course I can be a little dramatic at times, so I’m envisioning huge patches of hair falling out of my head every time I touch it. I have literally been walking around with a huge dreadlock rats nest because I’m scared to brush it….I am usually not gentle when it comes to brushing hair….maybe that’s why I’m a boy mom!? 🤔

I pretty much sulked the entire day. I didn’t return anyone’s calls and just wanted to be left alone. I was scared. I still am scared and it’s ok to be scared.

What is not ok is to stay scared. Today is a new day and I’m feelin PHAT! ~Positive. Healthy. Active. Toned. It is what it is and I have just have to trust the process and embrace what I’ve been given. In the grand scheme of things, my health is great (I hope), my kids are happy and healthy and the bottom line is that the rest of it doesn’t matter. It could be a lot worse. I spent the day having a pity party for myself yesterday, which we all need to do sometimes, and today I’m moving on!

Life happens when you’re busy making plans. This is my new life…bald spots and all. I’m still hoping that the next batch falls off of my legs, but if it doesn’t, then I guess I’ll have to shop for some cute new hats. Do they have a subscription box for cute accessories!? 😜 🤞🏻

In this year, I’m going to sit back and trust that the universe has bigger plans for me! At the very least, it looks like I’ll never run out of things to blog about! Stay tuned…

Xoxo,

Shannon